I Need Dorothy's Red Slippers

I Need Dorothy's Red Slippers

• 1.11.2012

 Last July, Jed enjoyed a delightful evening with Anna.  Bron was out of town and I had to feed calves.  But Jed didn't mind.  He loooved Anna.  And she was so good to Jed.  That night, they played on Miner Farm's trucks and tractors.  Lucky boy.

We moved from New York to Idaho six months ago.  I'll admit, I still miss New York sometimes.  I miss the farm.  I miss the trees and greenery.  I miss the lake.  I miss hopping over the border for a day visit to Montreal.  I miss being on our own and exploring new places.  But mostly, it's a few special people I still miss the most!  Perhaps I'll always miss them.

I've moved nearly a dozen times in my lifetime.  You'd think I'd be used to it by now.  And I guess I am.  I know what to expect.  I know that it takes about a year to completely feel at home in a new place.  It takes that long to know the ins and outs of a new town and the area's politics.  It takes about a year to make worthwhile friends--the kind that can tease you but also understand who you are.

It takes a long time to finally feel a part of a new place, to feel needed in the community somehow. 

I'm still struggling, I guess.  I had just enough time in our apartment to start getting to know a few folks.  Then we moved into our new house and winter hit.  Winter is cold and boring; everybody goes into hibernation for a few months, including me.  So it's been a quiet few months.  There are some other young mothers in the neighborhood.  I just need an excuse to get to know them, and sometimes that's hard and scary.  I also sat among some friendly faces at church.  We talk a little on Sundays, but that's it.  I'm just waiting for things to pick up speed.  You can't force friendships.  They occur naturally, but they always seem to have a common pattern and it takes time.  They often start with a friendly smile, then a few words, perhaps an invitation to do something together, and then it's repeated until that acquaintance blooms into friendship.

Waiting is tough sometimes.

I try to focus on the positives of our new surroundings.  I may miss the green of New York, but I love the openness and incessant sunshine of the Idaho desert.  I love how the roads are laid out in a grid; I never get lost even when I miss a turn.  I love living in a HOUSE where the living room is filled with sunshine every afternoon.  I love A LOT of things.

I'm happy to be within a few hours' drive of family again.  I think it makes this whole move worthwhile.  Bron loves his new job, most of the time.  I know we are meant to be here.  Too many things just fell into place for me to believe anything otherwise.  We are blessed beyond measure! 

But again, I am still waiting for a true love of this place to grow within me.  I know it will come.  It just takes time.  One day I will look out my window and FEEL that this is home.

I hope that day comes soon... because right now I feel empty.