I Love Your Positivity But I Love Your Honest Messiness More


As much as I appreciate positive sentiments such as "We've got this!" in texts from friends, I've actually appreciated those times friends have opened up about how HARD this transition to isolation and homeschooling has been more.  It's a breath of fresh air to know that someone else's kid spent hours in front of a screen one day and that she too wants to pull her hair out figuring out all these new online programs and passwords that don't always work and wondering if she is covering all the assigned material with her son.  It really is nice to know that I'm not the only one who does not have it all together all the time... because I actually feel guilty for feeling this way.  I am very fortunate and have been blessed with so much!  This temporary situation should be a walk in the park; no big deal. But IT IS! Living one day at a time, not being able to plan for the future is unsettling. (I mean, I'm birthing a baby into this mess!)  But as my sister reminded me, she's done this before.  This is familiar territory for her as she fought cancer just two short years ago.  It will all be okay, even if our new normal isn't ever quite the same.

So folks, all I'm trying to say is that I love you for your positivity and wisdom, but I also love it when you're messy and human just like me.

Coronavirus Update: Under the Governor's 21 Day Stay at Home Order


^^Chasing rainbows first thing in the morning.^^

It has been two fulls weeks since the kids' school was cancelled and we've been practicing "social distancing."  Last Wednesday, the governor of Idaho officially mandated a 21 Day Stay at Home order, closing down all non-essential businesses and asking residents to self isolate in order to slow the spread of Covid-19.

I'll be honest.  It's been a long two weeks.  This is quite the sudden adjustment!  A worldwide pandemic was totally not on my radar for 2020.  We've had some really good days here at home as a family and a few others where I've just fallen apart.

Those hard days have happened for two reasons:
1. This exhausted pregnant mama needs more sleep to keep up with three energetic boys!
2. I was still mentally kicking against this new reality.

My concerns in my last post still stand... along with a few others.  Wow, the physical, emotional, and economic effects are far reaching!  It can feel very heavy.

But overall, however, I think I am finally settling in to this new reality with hope that restrictions will begin to lift in the next few weeks.  I am truly fortunate in this pandemic situation.  I am thankful for a community that is working to keep people safe and protect our health system.  I am grateful Bron is still working and bringing home an income.  (Those cows still need to be milked and food brought to the masses!)  I am extremely fortunate to live in a nice warm home with a full pantry and a big yard.  Best of all, I am surrounded by the people whom I love more than anything.  We have our health and each other.  What more really matters?

I sincerely do wonder what I will learn from all this time in isolation glued to just my family and home.  What will I learn about myself?  What will I learn I need to change?  What will I learn about motherhood and my boys?  I'm hoping I come through the next few weeks a little wiser and not bald because I've pulled all my hair out just trying to meet the needs of three very energetic and extroverted boys.  Haha.

For the record, I feel just as busy with the kids all home as I did when they were in school.  The really nice advantage is that I've dropped my role as taxi driver.  There is no longer any pressure to make sure dinner is ready promptly at 5pm so that the boys can make it to swim team at 6pm.  And my house is staying cleaner because there's more time to clean it and the boys help!

I feel much more relaxed.  I might even be a better mom now that time isn't an issue!  I can focus on my child's immediate need instead of preparing for the next thing.

Just an observation...

How I'm Feeling About the Covid-19 Pandemic Five Days Later (Hint: I'm Angry)


I know, I know.  This is all just going to be a blip in the big scheme of things.  This too will pass.  I am actually optimistic in a bright future.  In the mean time, however, please forgive me for expressing all of my feelings.  When I write them down, I am then able to leave them there and move on.

We are officially on day three of "social distancing" for Covid-19 and my feelings have suddenly swung in an entirely different direction.  I am no longer in shock.  I am angry.  What the hell just happened?  I am questioning nearly everything with no concrete answers to show for it.  I feel there is just too much minutia to wade through to possibly ever discover the whole truth.

How I'm Feeling About the Coronavirus Pandemic at the Moment


^^I made brats for dinner one night and then let mine get a little cold while I grabbed this shot in the living room.  #photogproblems^^ 

Well, this is one of the craziest things that has ever happened in my lifetime.  I've lived through a couple of natural disaster emergencies as a kid, but this is the first time I can remember a worldwide pandemic.  I mean, I remember SARS and Zika viruses as relatively recent scares that required precaution but they never ensued a run on the stores for possible quarantine supplies.  (The stores are out of toilet paper, guys?  Really?)  The viruses never closed schools and businesses and halted domestic and international travel... at least not in the United States.  It feels strange.  In a matter of just a week the world around me has gone into a panic as one event after another has been cancelled: the NBA, March Madness, Disneyland, and even church on Sunday.  I feel it's not really a matter of if but when school is canceled for the boys.  It'll most likely happen as the government and local businesses take precautions to curb the inevitable spread of Covid-19.

I get it.  Social distancing is the right thing to do.  It protects those who are most high-risk for complications from the disease.  It allows the healthcare system to not become overburdened.  And to me, that's really important.  I value the ability to get medical help when I need it, especially for my children.  I assume other people do too.  Plus, who is chomping at the bit to actually contract the virus?  That sounds miserable.

Fourth Baby Bumpdate: 28 Weeks


Helllooo 3rd trimester! It's the final countdown.  Only 10 more weeks and some change to go (if I deliver at 39 weeks again) but who's really counting?  Me, of course!

Artifact Motherhood | Season of Motherhood


Current state of pregnancy at 27 weeks with baby number four: using my belly as a tabletop.
I'm going to miss this perk. 

This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

This entry is the start of a new series which we've just begun doing called "Seasons of Motherhood" and is meant to be one picture and one caption that represents our current journey/season of motherhood.

Please visit the next artist in our blog circle, April Christopher, and continue through all the artists until you get back to me!

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