The Day After Valentine's

Bron loves me. He loves me despite my crazy and my messy and my curves. I don't deserve his patient love but he gives it freely anyway. Today I was a hot mess. I felt so overwhelmed that all I could do was sob. I just cried. Every corner of the house was dirty and the mommy guilt and self-doubt was eating me alive. (It's true, I have a tendency to turn a mole hill into a mountain. And I honestly simply cannot function when the house is supremely cluttered for days on end.) So tonight Bron brought home dinner with him. He laid the hammer down and got the boys to pick up their toys and clothes. And when the house was put mostly back together, we all sat on the couch to read a little Harry Potter before bed.

Bron is my hero. He's my best friend and my rock. All is right in my little world again because of him. Bron's work day doesn't end at dinner time; his second job begins! I don't know how he does it sometimes but I truly appreciate his efforts. He's a good one and I'm going to keep him forever.

Happy Valentine's Day!


The Baby Conrad Growth Series: 3 Months

Three months old.  We've officially made it through the "4th trimester".  My floppy newborn is gone and in his place is a sturdy and alert baby who sleeps through the night more than half the time.  I started exercising again, dinner is being cooked nearly every night, and even though every surface of the house is cluttered with toys and paper, I feel like I've hit my stride as a mother of three. It's a wonderful feeling!  But time is a thief and my heart actually aches at the thought that three months have already passed by.  These baby days are numbered and I want to enjoy every moment... which is probably why he's napping in the wrap right now where I can hold him and kiss his sweet little head. I love you so much Baby Conrad!


Motherhood with Three

I feel like I am wading waist deep in motherhood these days.  The newborn honeymoon phase is over and we're hitting our stride: nurse the baby, hold the baby, change his diaper, nurse him again, hold him again.  The cycle never ends.  Toss in two high-strung little boys and I stay busy all day long: cleaning up messes, refereeing arguments, making food, folding laundry, helping with homework, and filling the dishwasher.  That cycle never ends either.  I sometimes worry about how much attention I'm giving Jed over Levi (or vice versa) and if I'm teaching the boys good work habits, how to be kind, and choose the right.  It's hard to find time to fit in a shower, let alone exercise or edit pictures, but I seem to find "me time" in ten minute snippets.  It's not ideal, but it will do for now.  I know it's just a phase.  Motherhood is definitely a lesson in selflessness.  And it's not easy.  Last week, the winter blues started setting in and both Conrad and I caught colds which meant less sleep for us both!  Tired, the monotony of the endless cycle of filling needs left me near tears several times.

And yet, despite the hard moments, I feel like I am in my element.  I feel like I am exactly where I need to be and doing exactly what I was meant to do!  I find so much joy in this job called motherhood.  For instance, Conrad gives the best coos and smiles on his changing table.  The way he looks up at me, milk drunk and happy after nursing, is priceless.  Levi tells the best stories at the dinner table that often leave us in stitches laughing.  And reading the first Harry Potter book to Jed is something both he and I look forward to every afternoon!  Though the house is often littered with toys and I can't find my pillow and there are jolly ranchers smashed into the carpet, there's a deep sense of contentment I feel at the end of the day as I tuck my babies into bed.  It's worth everything.  They are worth everything.

P.S.  Levi chants, "Merry Christmas!  Happy Mother's Day!  Sweet Dreams!" each evening before I shut his door.  I hope he never outgrows saying it and if he does, teaches the phrase to Conrad to carry on for a few more years as Jed taught him.


January Daze: Snapshots of Life Lately

January can be summed up briefly: wearing our pajamas all day long, a whole lot of snow, freezing cold temperatures and short weeks at school. See what we've been up to!

^^Snow Me's! No school and a whole lotta great packing snow meant we played outside. Meet Snow Jed and who Levi affectionately calls, Snow Boba Fett.^^
^^Recess at school has taught Jed how to make some pretty efficient snow balls!^^

Before getting all geared up in our snow clothes, I told Levi that the fresh powder was perfect for building snowmen. 

He replied, "No Mom.  Powder snow is for skiing.  It's not for making snowmen."

"So is this just regular snow?  Or wet snow?"

"Yeah, cuz powder is for skiing."

Can't argue.  Kid knows his stuff!  Hahaha.