monthly update

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Reflection on an Upcoming First Birthday

5.13.2021

At this time last year I was about 38 weeks pregnant. I felt huge and uncomfortable but was eagerly anticipating the arrival of our last little boy. I wish I could go back in time. There's nothing in the world quite like the exciting anticipation of birth. Few other times in my life have made me feel as if I was fulfilling my soul's divine destiny more than caring for a newborn.

I have cherished Ezra's babyhood as much as humanly possible. I feel so grateful that he joined our family and I was able to enjoy a fourth baby. But babies change so fast! And though I can hug Ezra right in this very moment, each picture I see is a reminder of the child who no longer exists.

Needless to say, I am feeling a whole range of emotions as his first birthday approaches. I'm grateful, yet sad.

Ezra's babyhood is slipping right through my fingers! However, I know there are a million and two reasons to smile because there is so much more ahead to look forward to. Ezra's first birthday is simply a very bittersweet milestone for me as my last baby.

So happy birthday Baby Boy! I love you more than words can say. You've brought so much joy into my life - our family's life - this year and I cannot wait to experience the happiness you'll undoubtedly bless us with in the future.

4.02.2021

At 10 months old, Ezra weighs a whopping 25+ pounds. He's easily my baldest and fattest baby. And my first to consistently sleep through the night at this age. Baby Boy has graduated to crawling across the house on all fours and has proudly begun pulling himself to a stand as he tries to climb the furniture. He's as busy as his big brothers whom he adores! In fact, he's already part of the crew with his nonstop jabbering, growling, and wrestling. Ezra doesn't miss a meal, obviously. He can sign "more", still nurses four times a day and eats just as many meals in his high chair. Between food prep and clean up, I feel like I live in the kitchen.

But Ezra is such a joy! He is just happy to be alive. I keep squeezing his chubby legs and kissing those round cheeks, just to make sure he's real. I feel so lucky to be his mama.

3.02.2021

Ezra,

Nine whole months with you, Baby Boy! I cannot believe how fast your first year is flying by. I've been desperately trying to cherish every precious moment of your babyhood -- from the way your heavy little body feels in my arms as you nurse to sleep at night to the way you smile and flap your arms with happiness when you first see me in the morning. You have brought so much peace and happiness into my life. You, Ezra, were the one I was waiting on. I intuitively knew one more little spirit was meant to join our family and it was YOU.

12.22.2020

Some things I want to remember about Ezra halfway through his first year on earth:

:: Ezra is a solid food eating pro. He enjoys snacking on bits and pieces of my meals throughout the day when appropriate and eats one bigger meal of veggies and sometimes oatmeal in the afternoon or evening.

:: He is learning to feed himself! The first time I gave him some rice crackers was a riot. He wasn't quite sure what to do! Rolls from back to front and front to back like it's his job.

:: Ezra has begun sleeping on his stomach and moving around his crib. Gone are the days when I can come into his room and know which side (breast left or right) I last fed him on! Lol.

:: Baby Boy still prefers to sleep in his "wing suit" with his hands covered. It must feel comforting to him. Naps without the suit don't last long! So I will gladly fork over $30 for another sleep sack like it.

:: Ezra found his toes! It's one of my favorite baby phases. He loves to grab and play with them on the changing table especially.

:: Sitting up to play! But sometimes that heavy head still pulls him to the ground.

:: He played in the snow for the first time! From the deadpan serious looks on his face, he seemed unimpressed -- even as Conrad pulled him through the snow on his sled. It was so funny!

:: He is content to play on the living room floor for at least 10 (sometimes 20!) minutes at a time, especially when his brothers are in the room.

:: Baby Boy survived his first couple of colds. I often bring him into a steamy shower with me before bedtime to help clear his nose. Ezra loves to hold his hands out in the spray and try to catch the water. It's the cutest thing! I delight in watching him explore the world for the first time.

:: Ezra has found his voice! It often sounds like a big bird or raptor with his high pitched screams.

:: He was up about twice a night (1AM and 5AM) until Dad decided that Mom could use a full night's sleep and took over night duty one evening. Ezra was pretty mad about skipping his midnight snack! But he now sleeps a solid 12 hours straight through the night. Hooray!

:: Ezra admires Conrad and laughs at everything he does. Conrad is such a distraction from nursing. Haha.

:: Baby Boy weighed over 20 pounds at his six month doctor's appointment. I can no longer zip him into 9 month clothes because his thighs are too chunky! He's also wearing size 4 diapers. It blows my mind how fast he's growing!

:: This mama is very proud of Ezra's squishy rolls, from his wrists to his tummy to his thighs to his ankles. They make me laugh and want to squeeze him. I have never had such a bald or fat baby. Ezra sure loves his mama's milk!

10.23.2020

A few points I jotted down to remember Ezra at 5 months old:

:: Ezra is a dream baby! He is quiet, content, and happy. He sleeps and naps like a champ!

:: Baby Boy loves to kick and spalsh in the bath. He's not quite sitting up, so he just lays in the warm water with a smile while his legs and arms tell the story of how happy he is just to be alive.

:: Ezra will roll from his tummy to his back when playing on the floor.

:: He looks absolutely ADORABLE in hats. I think they accentuate his big eyes and cheeks. I declare that he will live in hats all winter long.

:: Ezra is showing signs he's ready for solids. So we've let him try a few table foods like a taste of mashed potatoes, avocado, and raspberries. We'll be starting a solid food routine this month for sure.

:: Baby Boy is still nursing and I am soaking in all the cuddles. Ezra likes to hold my hand or the collar of my shirt as he eats. And my heat becomes a puddle on the floor when he falls asleep in my arms. I LOVE IT. I could stare at his sweet cheeks and lips all day.

:: Fact: Ezra is my baby doll whom I dress up daily. I need to stop buying him clothes but it's sooo hard!

9.25.2020

We cannot get enough of this sweet chunky baby!!! This month...

Ezra discovered his hands. It's one of my favorite milestones.

We lovingly tease him with the name, Vulture Head. Lol. We visited Zoo Boise and when we passed the vulture exhibit, I rubbed Ezra's fluffy new hair growth. His head looks a lot like a vulture's head at this point. It's coming in blonde!

Ezra is the most quiet, content, and patient baby. He often lies awake in his crib just looking around and sucking on his hands. I have no idea if he's been awake 5 minutes or 50! So I bought a little camera for the nursery to help me spy on him. Ezra is exactly the baby we need right now during this busy and stressful season of building a house and selling another.

He sleeps about 8 hours straight at night. I feed him and he goes right back to sleep until well after the sun comes up. Sometimes I hear him wake around midnight, but he simply flops around like a fish for a few minutes and puts himself back to sleep. I have never had a baby do that so young! Ezra takes one long nap around 11AM every day and the rest of his naps are either on the go in his car seat or on me after he nurses. I cherish those snuggles!

Baby Boy is happy and smiley and likes to laugh, especially when I blow raspberries into his chunky thighs after a diaper change.

We all had some good entertainment at the park one evening when Ezra tried his hardest to roll from his back to his stomach. He just couldn't quite make it over without some help.

Ezra spits up so much, that 1. I'm surprised he's as rolly as he currently is and 2. I bought a pack of bibs just to keep his clothes dry. We go through so many bibs! I am perpetually doing laundry.

Words cannot express just how much Ezra has me wrapped around his little finger. I live for every sweet smile and to hold him close.

9.16.2020

Sometimes a photo cannot capture everything I love or that makes me happy. The way Ezra always has his hands in his mouth, moves his little feet, and squeals are all just a fleeting phase. On a whim last night, I switched my camera over to video. I still have no idea what I'm doing and I stayed up way too late learning a new program and putting this together, but I'm sappy and proud of this little video. Think of it as a minute long snapshot of my sweet baby boy.

8.25.2020

These past months with Ezra have brought back so many memories of my first summer as a mom with Jed - ten years ago! I remember Jed getting fussy around 4PM every day. So at 4PM every afternoon, I took Jed outside and laid him on a blanket underneath a tree next to our apartment. Suddenly, he was all smiles! I've been doing much the same this summer and Fall with Ezra. He flaps his arms excitedly, grins, and squeals. Hanging out in the backyard each evening has been so sweet.

*****

This happy little squish (whom is hopelessly attached to his mama, but of course I don't mind a bit) had an eventful month.

He's getting chubbier by the day. He now has more rolls and creases than I can count, including some adorable arm creases.

Baby Boy can roll from his tummy to back. His head is so heavy that all he needs to do is hang it to the side, and whoop, there goes his body too! Lol. I had fun watching him repeat his new trick as he figured that out one morning.

Ezra is the world's best sleeper. He has literally slept through the night -- 11 hours straight -- twice! More typically, however, I'm up around 4AM ish to nurse him and he goes back to sleep until after 8AM. Dream Baby!

Ezra belly laughed for the first time!!! I think my heart exploded. He tends to especially light up with smiles when Dad talks to him.

He's become more alert. Ezra is aware of his big brothers and enjoys watching what they're doing. He even flaps his arms and kicks his legs as if he wants to get in on the fun too!

We love Baby Ezra so much!

7.24.2020

Someone pinch me. Sometimes I look at this sweet little squish and cannot believe he is here and he is real. I have a baby again! It is the sweetest feeling. Why must the first 365 days go so fast? I want to soak in every moment and every phase. At a whopping 14 pounds, Ezra is already no longer a newborn anymore and he is totally becoming one of the crew. His chunky little rolls make me so proud and happy.

7.03.2020

Happy Independence Day weekend! Wishing you all a safe and happy holiday.

Ezra is 6 weeks old today. I feel like this age always marks a new phase in my babies' development. This precious baby can be so alert and is beginning to smile and hold his own head up! I'm also proud to say his thighs are plumping up scrumptiously as his 3 month clothes no longer fit loosely. I jumped on the scale with him the other afternoon. Ezra weighs nearly 12 pounds already!

Words cannot express how happy Ezra makes me feel, like I was made to be this baby's mama. Ezra is this little sunshine of a gift with the most content personality... and whom just really prefers to be snuggled up next to me, his mama, at all times. I'm soaking in every snuggle; wraps have become my best multi-tasking friend and are worn for hours each day.

I'm sad the teeny tiny newborn phase is already over, but Ezra is still a little baby with so much growth ahead to look forward to. After all, I'm still rocking a baby in the wee hours of the morning instead of sleeping. And those pathetic newborn cries? Yeah, he's still got 'em. So cheers to the next 6 weeks of this, oh so sweet, "fourth trimester"!

6.22.2020

Time is such a bittersweet thing these days. Ezra is one month old. The last four weeks have been a sleepless but beautiful blur of nursing, diaper changes, and snuggles. By far my favorite part of having a newborn are the cuddles! It's hard for me to leave the nursery chair because I just want to soak in every moment: every curve of his little face, the sound of his breathing, how his little chin quivers when he cries, and the way his toes stretch as he eats.

I must be a hormonal mess still because there have been times that I've just held Ezra and cried. I've cried out of gratitude. I've cried because it feels like time is slipping by too fast. I've cried because the rest of my family needs me... as does the fact that we're gearing up to sell our home while building a new one. So much to do, so many things to clean and little people's problems to solve, when all I really want is sweet quiet time with my baby.

Newborn days are such sacred days. Few other times in my life have made me feel as if I was fulfilling my divine destiny more than caring for a newborn. I feel as if I was made for motherhood; made to be Ezra's (and Conrad's and Levi's and Jed's) mother. They are mine and I am theirs -- forever. We belong to one another and I have been given a stewardship to raise them into fine young men. It is both a humbling thought and feeling.

By the way, fourth babies are where all the joy and only 10% of the worry is at! I was dressing Ezra in one of Jed's first outfits when a flood of memories came sweeping in. I remember being so eager to see Jed reach the next milestone: rolling over, sitting up, sleeping through the night, etc. I worried if I was doing everything right. If I didn't sing him a lullaby, would he be tone deaf? So many silly things! With Ezra, I know I am enough. In fact, he is my child who has hands down been cared for with the most experience and patience. I don't worry if he'll ever sleep through the night. I know he will sleep eventually. Until then, I have a few tried and true habits to help get me through. Cradle cap and dry skin? No worries! Just smear vaseline on it. His skin looks beautiful, by the way.

It is truly hard to think Ezra is my last baby. This is it. I get to witness one last round of firsts. Bron, c'mon, we can totally handle a 5th child, right?! But I honestly wonder whether or not a 5th would be a good idea too.

The big boys are bored. A new baby is quite the adjustment! I'm a bit slow these days, recovering from delivery and caring for a baby: feed, diaper change, feed again. But fortunately, the boys don't seem to resent the baby. It's quite the opposite. They love Ezra! Jed is always enthusiastic about holding him and Conrad perpetually wants to pat his head. The first month is always crazy with the older siblings. They have each been acting out in their own ways. Jed has earned the nickname Eeyore on occasion and Levi is like a bull in a china shop! (We just laughed when we realized Conrad is the personification of Tigger.) It's frustrating, but I know the dust will settle soon.

Oh! And I should mention, at least in passing, about all the craziness our country faced this last month, from Covid to a huge Black Lives Matter movement that included mass riots. I don't have the time or energy to comment on it; it's pretty emotionally draining. But it's a part of Ezra's first days on earth and I want to remember it happened.

Ezra seems to be the perfect addition to our family at the moment. He is so chill. He only fusses when he's hungry or wants to be held. It means my Solly Wrap has become a daily accessory, but I thoroughly enjoy the cuddles and sleepy sighs as he sleeps on my chest while I go about making dinner and other daily tasks. And thankfully he's not too stubborn about being put down to sleep. He may awake when his head hits the mattress, but he usually grunts himself back into slumber. Oh, what a content and sweet child! Ezra is truly a joyful addition. Heavenly Father knew exactly what we needed and when we needed it.

I love you, Ezra, so so much!!! And I am so thankful God sent you to me.

11.14.2018

Happy Birthday! Our little man is 2!!! Conrad captured my heart from the moment I heard his fluttering away in my womb. I had no idea what I was missing until he came into our family and our lives. Conrad is my busiest child and may just have the biggest personality of my three boys. (And after Levi, that's saying something!) Conrad leaves me flustered every day, but he's also my little ray of happy sunshine. I can't help laughing and smiling along with him. My life is bigger and brighter and fuller because of him.

^^Pictures taken in the yard after church on his actual big day. Conrad wasn't very cooperative. He preferred running from me! Haha. Everything is a game when you're two.^^

Some specific things I am loving about Conrad right now:

1. How he blows on flowers instead of smelling them.

2. The way he wags his finger and tells me "No, no!"

3. How he throws his head back and says, "Mmmm!" every time we pass a cow or a horse or any property that looks like it might have an animal.

4. The way he knocks on doors with his little knuckles, even if there is no one there to open it up!

5. How he exclaims, "Wow!" every time I remove something from the microwave.

6. He still falls asleep in my arms. At bedtime he often points to the recliner in his room and says, "chair". That's my cue to wrap him up in a blanket, sing him a song, and sometimes hold him as he drifts off to sleep. I quietly sit admiring his cheeks and lashes and just soaking him in.

7. Last but certainly not least, Conrad gives the sweetest kisses. "Mmmuah," he says as he lands one on my cheek. I can't get enough! He even blows kisses to strangers as we leave. "Bye!" he exclaims waving with his little hand in the air above his big head.

You guys, this kid is seriously cute!

7.02.2018

My dapper mini dude.

Conrad outgrew his church pants and none of the hand-me-downs survived, so I went to the store in search of a new pair. It's the end of June and (duh!) I didn't have any luck. But I did find these adorable quick dry grey shorts. (Quick dry? Haha. He wears a diaper!) Thus, Conrad's new church look. I'm digging it. All he needs now is a little guitar or a set of drums and he's ready to join the School of Rock. (Hey, maybe I should totally turn that into a mini photo shoot?!)

In other news, at 19 months old, Conrad learned how to climb out of his crib and open the round knob on his bedroom door. I was on my computer one morning finishing something up last week when he proudly exited his room with his arms in the air. "Ta-da!" he exclaimed. Conrad had the biggest grin on his face. Definitely a new trick. (The other two boys never did this!) And so it's been on repeat every morning since. Conrad is just happy to be here, not a care in the world. He's a delight.

I lowered his crib side because what's the point in keeping it full height if he's just going to crawl out anyway? (Yes, I know, my crib is ancient.) I'm not quite ready to part with the crib and tell myself Conrad isn't quite ready either as I sneak in while he's sleeping to find him pressed up against the bars. He still needs those things to keep from falling out, right? In all reality, he'll probably graduate to a twin mattress on the floor sometime this fall or winter.

Right now, however, we're facing a brand new challenge in training him to stay in bed!

He usually goes down without a fuss, but tonight, I don't think Conrad was quite ready to hit the hay. He came out of his room at least half a dozen times. Conrad was just too darn cute dragging his red blanket and happily jabbering away. He melted even Bron's ornery frozen heart and earned himself a full ten minutes of cuddling in the living room.

So there really is something to this third child baby status! Conrad seems to know it and has us all wrapped around his tiny pinky fingers.

3.19.2018

I think we survived what I hope is our very last snow storm of the season. This year, it feels like winter never wanted to start and now it never wants to end! We woke up to an inch of snow on the ground Saturday morning. Needless to say, we are all counting down the days til our trip to St. George, UT for Spring Break! It's coming so soon! I'm really looking forward to some family time, relaxing with no real schedule or list of chores and adventuring in the sunshine with the people I love most.

But until that happens, let's review what happened this weekend because I want to remember what real life looks like these days too.

:: Due to snow on the ground Saturday morning, our lacrosse clinic was canceled. But no matter, I got to tag along to Jed and Levi's wrestling match in Wendell, ID instead! I'm so glad I got to go. Both boys have improved so much since last year. And that's all I could ever want for them: to increase their talents and enjoy what they do. I'm so proud of Jed and Levi. Levi won two matches and lost two matches. Jed lost three matches but pinned a kid in his second match. Then Bron bought them popcorn. I'd say our morning on the mats was a success!

:: I participated as a violinist in the pit orchestra for the Stake Easter Cantata for I think the 7th year in a row. Has it really been that many years?! Blows my mind. I admit, I'm a diva and was disappointed when I didn't get to play any solo parts this year. Apparently we violinists take turns instead of auditioning for the solo parts... which is not what the choir did, but whatever. My pride is just stinging. Anyway, it was still good for my soul to play music in praise of my Savior. I really do enjoy this tradition at Easter time as it gives me a chance to reflect upon the life of Jesus Christ and the sacrifice He made for me; it really helps put my priorities into line.

On another note, I got to meet a particular Elder Kartchner on Sunday night. This Elder happens to be my sister's nephew from Pima, Arizona. I made sure to introduce myself after the Cantata performance. He said he knew who I was as soon as I opened my mouth! Haha. Lauren and I sound so much alike. Small world. It was fun to make that connection.

:: At 16 months old, Conrad is officially the most exhausting toddler ever. I'm not sure if it's truly because he's that much of a busy maniac or if I'm just more relaxed (because hello, he's the third!) and distracted by other things to keep up with his messes. But really, he is super busy. He delights in destruction and emptying drawers and eating out of the garbage and is completely irrational. Conrad has just come upon the 'terrible two' fits, throwing himself onto the floor when he doesn't get exactly what he wants. He is getting good at screaming and yelling. I suspect he just wants to be heard in this already loud house of boys. He's very attached to his mama right now and starts to freak out if I'm preparing to leave the house, but if he has his shoes on and coat in hand, Conrad knows he's leaving too and stands waiting at the door. He has one word in his vocabulary: Mum. He says it over and over and in varying intensities from happy to downright angry. Conrad is also a runner. He speeds off only to turn around and grin, just making sure we're following him. Can you imagine what church looks like for us right now?

All Bron and I can do is lock all the doors and laugh. We laugh a lot actually, because no matter how much work Conrad is right now, he's ten times cuter. And that cuteness is what makes it all worth it.

Conrad just gets under our skin with the biggest hugs, the most charming grin, and his dance moves. I can't get enough! Just yesterday, he made a b-line for my room when he saw the baby gate open. I followed and came in to see him holding items from my dresser drawer with the biggest cheesiest proudest grin. He's such a happy tease! I couldn't help laughing out loud and scooping him up into a hug. As exhausting as this age is, it's truly one of my favorites. Stay little okay, Conrad? We love you and your naughty cuteness!

12.28.2017

Conrad's new obsession: his bellybutton. He's also interested in my bellybutton, but I'm not about to document that!

This 13 month old crazy kid is at such a fun age! He's entering the toddler stage but is still so much my baby. His tiny body folded up against mine still feels so good. This morning, Bron got him out of bed and Conrad came running straight to me for a hug. Melt my heart! He still needs me just as much as I need him. Don't grow up too fast, Conrad!

I often wonder as he drifts off to sleep in my arms while nursing how many more times he'll do just that. He's ready to be weaned but I'm holding off as long as possible because of how much I thoroughly enjoy the three times a day when we steal ten quiet minutes together to cuddle. It's honestly the only time he holds still!

Conrad is perpetually on the go-go-go these days. He is, by far, my most active, curious, and destructive child. He also has a bit of a temper and has learned how to scream! Conrad loves playing with doors of all kinds, tears books into pieces simply because he enjoys the ripping sound, and lifts off the vent covers just to stick items down the hole. One day I found my missing sock in one.

Another day, I turned on the shower to warm it up. By the time I'd walked to the sink, Conrad had hopped right into the spray, clothes and all! It wasn't long before he was completely soaked but having a ball. He's since become my little showering companion. There's no keeping him from the water!

Just recently, Conrad found an entire leftover Christmas candy bar. He wore the biggest grin on his face and upon seeing me, ran the other direction! He ran, giggling, to hide behind the couch. It was sooo funny! He knew he was being a tease.

Finally, in the amount of time it took me to clean up his space after breakfast one morning, Conrad had opened the top drawer of his dresser for the first time and grabbed his lotion. I found him sitting on the floor giggling, hands and face and clothes and carpet all covered in white gobs. Yikes!

I'm laughing for now but I'm half scared of what our future holds with this kid! Conrad is already keeping me on my toes! But I love him. I love him. I love him.

8.18.2017

Little Boy, nine months is 39 weeks. You have officially been living on the outside in this big crazy world longer than you comfortably gestated in my tummy. It's a weird thing to contemplate. You've grown from a barely audible heartbeat to a baby boy who jabbers and crawls and lights up my life.

You've turned into quite the handful! Curious and naive, everything your chubby little hands can grab goes straight into your mouth. You pull yourself up to a stand against everything. You're even walking alongside the couch! I now lower the toilet lids and let you play with the toilet paper--the toy that just keeps on giving--but I keep a watchful eye, you know, just to make sure you don't accidentally start choking on a salivated wad of toilet paper. For me, as your mother, this is an exhausting stage of babyhood: keeping you alive.

But there's no stopping you or slowing you down. You're full of life and enthusiasm and you're just so cute while you're at it! So I'm laughing, holding you on my hip often, and shortening my to-do list just to simply enjoy you as you are right now.

Don't grow up too fast, Baby Boy. You're as fun as they come.

7.11.2017

It's been a dreamy eight months with Conrad in our family. Words cannot describe how happy I am that he is here. Sometimes when we're all together, I look at my three boys and everything in the world just feels right. The older boys are on the move and talk non-stop and it looks as if Conrad is following suit. He's just as crazy and fun! Being a mother to three little boys has definitely stretched me, but I also feel content; like it's exactly where I belong.

6.12.2017

Conrad, you cute thing, I just cannot get enough of you! From the moment you wake in the morning, to the time your eyes close at night, you are a chunky ball of sunshine making my heart burst with joy. I just want to be around you perpetually and wish I could spend every minute playing with you. Your excitement and zest for life can be seen in your eyes as they light up and squint with a smile all the way down to your toes and how you kick your tiny feet. I still send up silent prayers of thanks to my Heavenly Father for you. Such a good-natured baby, I'm not sure how I got lucky enough to deserve a child like you. But I did, and I couldn't be happier.

You've grown so much this last month, Conrad! Seven months old, I can't believe it. It wasn't very long ago that we brought you home from the hospital and yet life with you is so very different today than it was during those first few weeks. You've nailed developmental milestones, have become busy, busy, busy, and are bursting at the seams with personality. Everyone we meet comments on how cute you are and I respond with a proud smile and a squeeze, saying that you are so much fun! We've had our fair share of challenges (like Mom's lack of sleep due to your multiple nighttime wakings) but I can't help appreciate them in some small way because it means you are my beautiful reality and finally a part of our lives after many tears and prayers. Conrad, seriously, you are the most loved baby in all the world. I would know. I'm your mama.

5.25.2017

Always busy reaching for a toy and rolling halfway across the room, I thought Conrad would learn to scoot before he ever learned to sit up. But suddenly, just like that one day, he's sitting up on his own! He's growing like a weed right before my eyes. My baby is getting so big. He sat there on the grass until the water balloon popped all over his toes. Then Conrad toppled over screaming. It scared him! I scooped him up and laughed. It was sooo funny!

In other news, my sister Lauren called last week to tell me she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. When I missed both her and my mother's call within twenty minutes of each other, my heart sank; I knew something was wrong. My heart breaks for Lauren. She is 28 years old. 28!!! She has three little children. This can't be happening to her right now, can it?

She is my one and only sister and she lives far far away from me in Arizona. I feel so helpless. All I want to do is take some of that burden from her, but I can't even bring her a meal or babysit! I also feel weirdly guilty. Lauren's entire world has come to a crashing halt while my world continues to spin in normalcy: taking kids to t-ball, planning fun events for the weekend, exercising, the list goes on. How do we talk now? What might I say that would make her feel bad?

The unknown also feels scary. While the statistics are in her favor, it's hard not to jump to the worst case scenario. What if...? I feel like things are going to be okay though. Everything will be okay, no matter what happens; I trust Heavenly Father has a plan for her and her family. It's going to be a summer of challenges and of tears. But she's a fighter. My sister may be younger than me but her maturity always floors me. She has grit and a happy positive attitude. She's also surrounded by a loving husband and family and friends there in Arizona. She'll make it through to the other side of this with flying colors. I know it.

In the mean time, we're praying hard for Lauren. Levi seems to have a special knack for prayer and knows exactly what to ask for in pure innocent childlike faith. I'll also be sending a care package and booking a flight to get my rear end down there some time this summer. As much as I'm cautious about overstepping and perhaps causing more stress, Lauren is my sister and her business is pretty much my business, right? I know I'd want her at my side if the tables were turned. So Lauren, I'll either be there for you with a hug and some chocolate or be here for you, just a phone call away. Love you. Sending wishes for a smooth and swift recovery.

SLIDER