SLIDER

Happy New Year! 2020 Recap

12.31.2020


The year 2020 definitely took a few unexpected turns. It's been a stressful and emotionally taxing year.  And strangely, a very lonely feeling year. I do NOT recommend having a baby, selling a house and building a home all amidst a global pandemic and political/civil unrest. 

I feel like my head is on a swivel from being pulled in so many directions at once. My time is not my own. My plans get derailed nearly daily. Four boys = noisy crazy town. 

Ironically, most of these challenges can be pointed back to myself or humanity in general. In other words, 2020 was a man made problem! Lol. Everything from choosing to build a home while pregnant, to the lockdowns that had dire economic effects, to the protests and destruction of cities, to protocols in the health field that are making the jobs of doctors and nurses feel insurmountable, and to a presidential election that was just plain awful.

Wow. I'm glad we're in the home stretch of the year. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that many of our problems will resolve in 2021. I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to moving in to our new home in just a few short weeks!

But for all that went wrong, so much went right too. Everything has its opposite and I would be ungrateful if I did not recognize the mountains of blessings that Heavenly Father bestowed upon our family this year... beginning with the most smiley and squishy baby named Ezra who joined our family! 

Six and Seven Months with Ezra

12.22.2020


Some things I want to remember about Ezra halfway through his first year on earth:


::  Ezra is a solid food eating pro. He enjoys snacking on bits and pieces of my meals throughout the day when appropriate and eats one bigger meal of veggies and sometimes oatmeal in the afternoon or evening.

::  He is learning to feed himself!  The first time I gave him some rice crackers was a riot.  He wasn't quite sure what to do!  Rolls from back to front and front to back like it's his job.

::  Ezra has begun sleeping on his stomach and moving around his crib.  Gone are the days when I can come into his room and know which side (breast left or right) I last fed him on!  Lol.

::  Baby Boy still prefers to sleep in his "wing suit" with his hands covered. It must feel comforting to him. Naps without the suit don't last long! So I will gladly fork over $30 for another sleep sack like it.

::  Ezra found his toes!  It's one of my favorite baby phases.  He loves to grab and play with them on the changing table especially.

::  Sitting up to play! But sometimes that heavy head still pulls him to the ground.

::  He played in the snow for the first time! From the deadpan serious looks on his face, he seemed unimpressed -- even as Conrad pulled him through the snow on his sled. It was so funny!

::  He is content to play on the living room floor for at least 10 (sometimes 20!) minutes at a time, especially when his brothers are in the room.

::  Baby Boy survived his first couple of colds.  I often bring him into a steamy shower with me before bedtime to help clear his nose. Ezra loves to hold his hands out in the spray and try to catch the water. It's the cutest thing! I delight in watching him explore the world for the first time.

::  Ezra has found his voice!  It often sounds like a big bird or raptor with his high pitched screams.

::  He was up about twice a night (1AM and 5AM) until Dad decided that Mom could use a full night's sleep and took over night duty one evening. Ezra was pretty mad about skipping his midnight snack! But he now sleeps a solid 12 hours straight through the night.  Hooray!  

::  Ezra admires Conrad and laughs at everything he does.  Conrad is such a distraction from nursing. Haha.

::  Baby Boy weighed over 20 pounds at his six month doctor's appointment. I can no longer zip him into 9 month clothes because his thighs are too chunky! He's also wearing size 4 diapers. It blows my mind how fast he's growing!

::  This mama is very proud of Ezra's squishy rolls, from his wrists to his tummy to his thighs to his ankles. They make me laugh and want to squeeze him. I have never had such a bald or fat baby. Ezra sure loves his mama's milk!

A Video of Ezra at 6 Months

12.10.2020




I promised myself I'd take some more video of Ezra at 6 months old, so here it is!  It's precious footage of my last baby sleeping in his crib (the lip sucking!), discovering his feet, and showing off his new trick: rolling over.  I love this little guy so much!!!

Ezra 6 Months from Jessie Nelson on Vimeo.

Five Months with Ezra

10.23.2020


A few points I jotted down to remember Ezra at 5 months old:


:: Ezra is a dream baby!  He is quiet, content, and happy.  He sleeps and naps like a champ!

:: Baby Boy loves to kick and spalsh in the bath.  He's not quite sitting up, so he just lays in the warm water with a smile while his legs and arms tell the story of how happy he is just to be alive.

:: Ezra will roll from his tummy to his back when playing on the floor.

:: He looks absolutely ADORABLE in hats. I think they accentuate his big eyes and cheeks.  I declare that he will live in hats all winter long.

:: Ezra is showing signs he's ready for solids. So we've let him try a few table foods like a taste of mashed potatoes, avocado, and raspberries.  We'll be starting a solid food routine this month for sure.

:: Baby Boy is still nursing and I am soaking in all the cuddles.  Ezra likes to hold my hand or the collar of my shirt as he eats.  And my heat becomes a puddle on the floor when he falls asleep in my arms.  I LOVE IT.  I could stare at his sweet cheeks and lips all day.

:: Fact: Ezra is my baby doll whom I dress up daily.  I need to stop buying him clothes but it's sooo hard!


Artifact Motherhood | Season of Motherhood

9.29.2020

My favorite spot in the house right now.  It doesn't look like much; the chair is weathered and stained, but it's the corner in our home where I find slices of daily joy as I rock and nurse my last baby.  I'm taking it all in: Ezra's tiny toes, his chunky thighs and wrist rolls, and the sound of his sighs as he drifts off to sleep in my arms.  There's nothing else on earth quite like those quiet ordinary moments spent in this very chair.  Nursing is connection and comfort, for both of us!


*****

This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

This entry is a part of a series called "Seasons of Motherhood" and is meant to be one picture and one caption that represents our current journey/season of motherhood. 

Please VISIT THE NEXT ARTIST in our blog circle, Carla Monge, and continue through all the artists until you get back to me!

Four Months with Ezra

9.25.2020


We cannot get enough of this sweet chunky baby!!!  This month...

Ezra discovered his hands.  It's one of my favorite milestones.

We lovingly tease him with the name, Vulture Head.  Lol.  We visited Zoo Boise and when we passed the vulture exhibit, I rubbed Ezra's fluffy new hair growth.  His head looks a lot like a vulture's head at this point.  It's coming in blonde!

Ezra is the most quiet, content, and patient baby.  He often lies awake in his crib just looking around and sucking on his hands.  I have no idea if he's been awake 5 minutes or 50!  So I bought a little camera for the nursery to help me spy on him.  Ezra is exactly the baby we need right now during this busy and stressful season of building a house and selling another.

He sleeps about 8 hours straight at night. I feed him and he goes right back to sleep until well after the sun comes up.  Sometimes I hear him wake around midnight, but he simply flops around like a fish for a few minutes and puts himself back to sleep. I have never had a baby do that so young!  Ezra takes one long nap around 11AM every day and the rest of his naps are either on the go in his car seat or on me after he nurses.  I cherish those snuggles!  

Baby Boy is happy and smiley and likes to laugh, especially when I blow raspberries into his chunky thighs after a diaper change.

We all had some good entertainment at the park one evening when Ezra tried his hardest to roll from his back to his stomach.  He just couldn't quite make it over without some help.

Ezra spits up so much, that 1. I'm surprised he's as rolly as he currently is and 2. I bought a pack of bibs just to keep his clothes dry.  We go through so many bibs!  I am perpetually doing laundry.

Words cannot express just how much Ezra has me wrapped around his little finger.  I live for every sweet smile and to hold him close.


A Two Minute Snapshot of Ezra at 3 Months

9.16.2020



Sometimes a photo cannot capture everything I love or that makes me happy.  The way Ezra always has his hands in his mouth, moves his little feet, and squeals are all just a fleeting phase.  On a whim last night, I switched my camera over to video.  I still have no idea what I'm doing and I stayed up way too late learning a new program and putting this together, but I'm sappy and proud of this little video.  Think of it as a minute long snapshot of my sweet baby boy.

Three Months with Ezra

8.25.2020


These past months with Ezra have brought back so many memories of my first summer as a mom with Jed - ten years ago!  I remember Jed getting fussy around 4PM every day.  So at 4PM every afternoon, I took Jed outside and laid him on a blanket underneath a tree next to our apartment.  Suddenly, he was all smiles!  I've been doing much the same this summer and Fall with Ezra.  He flaps his arms excitedly, grins, and squeals.  Hanging out in the backyard each evening has been so sweet.

***** 

This happy little squish (whom is hopelessly attached to his mama, but of course I don't mind a bit) had an eventful month. 

He's getting chubbier by the day.  He now has more rolls and creases than I can count, including some adorable arm creases.

Baby Boy can roll from his tummy to back.  His head is so heavy that all he needs to do is hang it to the side, and whoop, there goes his body too!  Lol.  I had fun watching him repeat his new trick as he figured that out one morning.

Ezra is the world's best sleeper.  He has literally slept through the night -- 11 hours straight -- twice!  More typically, however, I'm up around 4AM ish to nurse him and he goes back to sleep until after 8AM.  Dream Baby!

Ezra belly laughed for the first time!!!  I think my heart exploded.  He tends to especially light up with smiles when Dad talks to him.

He's become more alert.  Ezra is aware of his big brothers and enjoys watching what they're doing.  He even flaps his arms and kicks his legs as if he wants to get in on the fun too!   

We love Baby Ezra so much!


A Mid-Summer Update

8.04.2020

^^Hammock hangs in the backyard at bedtime.^^

What's been happening around here...

AT HOME:

Overall, we're having fun and doing well!

As a mother, I feel like I'm beginning to get my feet back under me... just in time to start a strange school year. 😜 Adding a fourth child has been simply just that: adding one more -- except it's harder to feed myself actual meals, but that's just the new baby stage. The chaos isn't any worse than it was. And we'd still be dealing the same problems/meltdowns with or without a baby, so bring on the snuggles!

Back to Church... with Masks

7.26.2020


Baby's first time to church!  And our first time to church in five months.  Yay!  Wearing masks, hand sanitizer, and closed off hallways and pews made church feel anything but normal... and hot.  But we bought three new pairs of boys' shoes for the occasion, so I guess we're committed!  These kids are growing like weeds!

Over the last few months I've really missed seeing my friends and ward family!  I've missed that weekly reminder to keep doing my best and plugging along in the gospel.  And I've really missed the music.  I feel the Spirit through music and its absence in my life has really been felt.  In fact, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but I find myself occasionally getting teary eyed at times while singing!  

There are a few particular things about church that I have NOT missed, however.  For instance, the hustle to get everyone dressed and ready and out the door (relatively) on time!  Lol.  The break from church attendance also highlighted just how overscheduled we were with church meetings and activities.  I hope we can learn from that relief as a church in general and take a step back from it all to concentrate on what's most important in the future. 

Two Months with Ezra

7.24.2020


Someone pinch me. Sometimes I look at this sweet little squish and cannot believe he is here and he is real. I have a baby again! It is the sweetest feeling. Why must the first 365 days go so fast? I want to soak in every moment and every phase. At a whopping 14 pounds, Ezra is already no longer a newborn anymore and he is totally becoming one of the crew. His chunky little rolls make me so proud and happy. 

Portrait with My Baby

7.09.2020


Living on cinnamon bears + dry shampoo + baby snuggles.

Baby's First Big Holiday | 6 Weeks with Ezra

7.03.2020


Happy Independence Day weekend!  Wishing you all a safe and happy holiday.

Ezra is 6 weeks old today.  I feel like this age always marks a new phase in my babies' development. This precious baby can be so alert and is beginning to smile and hold his own head up!  I'm also proud to say his thighs are plumping up scrumptiously as his 3 month clothes no longer fit loosely.  I jumped on the scale with him the other afternoon.  Ezra weighs nearly 12 pounds already!

Words cannot express how happy Ezra makes me feel, like I was made to be this baby's mama.  Ezra is this little sunshine of a gift with the most content personality... and whom just really prefers to be snuggled up next to me, his mama, at all times.  I'm soaking in every snuggle; wraps have become my best multi-tasking friend and are worn for hours each day.

I'm sad the teeny tiny newborn phase is already over, but Ezra is still a little baby with so much growth ahead to look forward to.  After all, I'm still rocking a baby in the wee hours of the morning instead of sleeping.  And those pathetic newborn cries?  Yeah, he's still got 'em.  So cheers to the next 6 weeks of this, oh so sweet, "fourth trimester"!

One Month with Ezra

6.22.2020


Time is such a bittersweet thing these days. Ezra is one month old. The last four weeks have been a sleepless but beautiful blur of nursing, diaper changes, and snuggles. By far my favorite part of having a newborn are the cuddles! It's hard for me to leave the nursery chair because I just want to soak in every moment: every curve of his little face, the sound of his breathing, how his little chin quivers when he cries, and the way his toes stretch as he eats.

I must be a hormonal mess still because there have been times that I've just held Ezra and cried. I've cried out of gratitude. I've cried because it feels like time is slipping by too fast. I've cried because the rest of my family needs me... as does the fact that we're gearing up to sell our home while building a new one. So much to do, so many things to clean and little people's problems to solve, when all I really want is sweet quiet time with my baby.

Newborn days are such sacred days. Few other times in my life have made me feel as if I was fulfilling my divine destiny more than caring for a newborn. I feel as if I was made for motherhood; made to be Ezra's (and Conrad's and Levi's and Jed's) mother. They are mine and I am theirs -- forever. We belong to one another and I have been given a stewardship to raise them into fine young men. It is both a humbling thought and feeling.

By the way, fourth babies are where all the joy and only 10% of the worry is at! I was dressing Ezra in one of Jed's first outfits when a flood of memories came sweeping in. I remember being so eager to see Jed reach the next milestone: rolling over, sitting up, sleeping through the night, etc. I worried if I was doing everything right. If I didn't sing him a lullaby, would he be tone deaf? So many silly things! With Ezra, I know I am enough. In fact, he is my child who has hands down been cared for with the most experience and patience. I don't worry if he'll ever sleep through the night. I know he will sleep eventually. Until then, I have a few tried and true habits to help get me through. Cradle cap and dry skin? No worries! Just smear vaseline on it. His skin looks beautiful, by the way.

It is truly hard to think Ezra is my last baby. This is it. I get to witness one last round of firsts. Bron, c'mon, we can totally handle a 5th child, right?! But I honestly wonder whether or not a 5th would be a good idea too.

The big boys are bored. A new baby is quite the adjustment! I'm a bit slow these days, recovering from delivery and caring for a baby: feed, diaper change, feed again. But fortunately, the boys don't seem to resent the baby. It's quite the opposite. They love Ezra! Jed is always enthusiastic about holding him and Conrad perpetually wants to pat his head. The first month is always crazy with the older siblings. They have each been acting out in their own ways. Jed has earned the nickname Eeyore on occasion and Levi is like a bull in a china shop! (We just laughed when we realized Conrad is the personification of Tigger.) It's frustrating, but I know the dust will settle soon.

Oh!  And I should mention, at least in passing, about all the craziness our country faced this last month, from Covid to a huge Black Lives Matter movement that included mass riots.  I don't have the time or energy to comment on it; it's pretty emotionally draining.  But it's a part of Ezra's first days on earth and I want to remember it happened.  

Ezra seems to be the perfect addition to our family at the moment. He is so chill. He only fusses when he's hungry or wants to be held. It means my Solly Wrap has become a daily accessory, but I thoroughly enjoy the cuddles and sleepy sighs as he sleeps on my chest while I go about making dinner and other daily tasks. And thankfully he's not too stubborn about being put down to sleep. He may awake when his head hits the mattress, but he usually grunts himself back into slumber. Oh, what a content and sweet child! Ezra is truly a joyful addition. Heavenly Father knew exactly what we needed and when we needed it.

I love you, Ezra, so so much!!!  And I am so thankful God sent you to me.


A Birth Story for Ezra

5.29.2020


He's here!  Introducing the softest and squishiest bundle of joy who completes our family.

Meet Ezra Glen Nelson born on Friday May 22, 2020 at 4:29 PM weighing 9lbs 1oz and 21.5 inches long.

Ezra is my tiniest baby with by far the smoothest and quickest delivery.  It's true when they say no two deliveries are alike.  I now have four completely different, and yet uniquely beautiful, birth stories to tell and to relive over and over again in my mind and heart.

So let's back this story up to Thursday when I had my doctor appointment.  I was 38 weeks + 6 days pregnant and dilated to a "loose one centimeter" with plans for a 39 week induction because I grow my babies so large.  Doctor Cannon did a quick membrane sweep (WOWSERS! That was a bit painful.) in hope of "stirring the pot" to get things moving before the big delivery day on Friday.

Well, I didn't go into labor, but it worked!  Thursday afternoon I stayed as busy as possible, going on a walk with the boys and cleaning the house.  When Bron and I arrived at the hospital bright and early Friday morning at 6AM, I was already dilated to a "stretchy four".  Woot!  My body was already doing its thing.

Artifact Motherhood | Season of Motherhood

5.26.2020

Baby's first sunrise.  Just think: a whole lifetime of possibilities ahead!   I wonder who this little boy will be.


*****

This is Artifact Motherhood; a collaboration of artists from around the world who have come together to share our stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Through our writings and visual records, we want to create memories that are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifacts we are leaving behind for our children and for generations to come.

This entry is a part of a series which we've begun doing called "Seasons of Motherhood" and is meant to be one picture and one caption that represents our current journey/season of motherhood.

Please VISIT THE NEXT ARTIST in our blog circle, Paige Rains, and continue through all the artists until you get back to me!

Welcome to the World!

5.24.2020


He's here!  Introducing the softest and squishiest bundle of joy who completes our family.  I cannot get enough of those sweet cheeks.  I'm a mother of four now and it feels so right.  

Ezra Glen Nelson 
Friday May 22, 2020 
4:29 PM
9lbs 1oz
21.5 inches

4th Baby Bumpdate: 38 Weeks

5.19.2020


Wrapping up this pregnancy journey with one last belly picture.  It feels bittersweet.

Because I make much bigger than average babies, the plan is to be induced this Friday at exactly 39 weeks.  That's less than three days away!!!  That is, if my body says it's ready.

I am so relieved to have an end date; something to count down to.  These last couple of weeks have been a bit of a doozy physically.  I have felt very tired and even nauseous.  Poor kids.  As if it was possible, life around here has gotten even more slow and boring!  My ankles have become so swollen that I don't even recognize my own limbs!  The only shoes I can wear are my flip flops.  (Um, yes, that is why I cropped out my face in these pictures.  You guys, I am a balloon.)  And false labor contractions have kept me on my toes, wondering if they'll turn into the real thing.  But nope; he's cozy in there.

Last Wednesday, I thought my water might have started leaking.  My underwear was uncommonly wet and I was having mild painful contractions every 20 minutes or so.  "Body," I thought, "what is going on?"  I decided to err on the safe side and went in to the hospital to see my provider. Wow, things changed in a week!  All of a sudden, new policies were in place that required everyone to wear a mask and more restrictive measures/signs were posted throughout the hospital.  It felt a bit apocalyptic.  Fortunately, the people behind those masks offered the same friendly service as always.  Apparently, I had a common vaginal infection that just needed some cheap antibiotics to clear up.  Eeew.

Anyway, exciting and miserable physical effects aside, I am so very grateful I got to experience the miracle of creating life within me one fourth and final time.  What a privilege!  I cannot believe this special time of my life -- the part where I'm pregnant and we grow our family -- is almost over.  I will miss this belly.  I will miss feeling the flutters and rolls and pressing my fingers against a tiny foot that moves in response.  I keep trying to imagine what he will look like, but I know breathing him in for the first time will exceed all my expectations. There is nothing on earth quite like the exciting anticipation of new life and all of the joys and possibilities it brings along with it.

Funny Faces

5.12.2020



Funny Faces!

I'm at that point in pregnancy where all I want to do is sit on the couch, eat ice cream, and cry.  But Levi gave himself his first real dose of road rash from crashing on his bike today and needed a little distraction.  This worked for all of us.  It was so fun!

Our own twist on a trend I've seen on Instagram with Mickey Mouse eyes, Chewy eyes, and Jed's very own eyes.

A Day in the Life 2020

5.08.2020

Welcome to the 8th annual Day in the Life Post -- also known as the annual post that almost didn't happen.  Between this quarantine and being nine months pregnant, I feel pretty spent of creative energy.  But I knew that if I dropped the ball this year, I'd regret it.  So I busted out the camera on Monday May 4, 2020 and went for it.  These aren't the prettiest or most creatively done batch of pictures.  In fact, I used a new to me preset for fun and I'm not sure I'm in love with the look.  But it is what it is and the goal was accomplished for yet another year.

So my dear readers, may I present A Day in the Life 2020, a special quarantine edition.

Fourth Baby Bumpdate: 36 Weeks

5.01.2020


May is here!!!  It's finally baby month!  I can hardly believe it.  The thought that I will be holding another baby so soon feels surreal.  We are really going to have another baby?!  It blows my mind.  I am so excited.  I cannot put into words how much I am looking forward to all those sweet and precious firsts, beginning with the moment I get to hold him in my arms, smell the top of his head, and take in all the curves of his tiny face.

At the same time, however, I do not want to wish these last weeks away.  There's something magical about feeling a baby moving inside.  His kicks and hiccups bring a smile to face.  Yes, even when I'm trying to go to sleep.

The boys make fun of me these days.  I use more toilet paper than the rest of the house combined.  Every move I make comes with a sound effect and I move as slow as a sloth.  My ankles are swollen.  I cry over stupid things. (For instance, I wanted a salad one afternoon but the restaurant was closed!)  I'm playing closet roulette as the amount items that fit gradually shrinks (very literally).  There's a party in my belly and Braxton hicks from 9PM til 1AM every evening.  And I'm embracing the waddle.  When we go on walks, I sometimes have to stop for a second, because well, something inside goes ZING or I might pee my pants... or both.  But really, I'm surprised how far I can walk being so far along.  (Two or three miles!)  I am not nearly in the amount of pain I was in with Levi and Conrad.  This feels like a much more normal pregnancy and I am counting that as a tender blessing.

Birth isn't too far off.  I've become an insomniac with more bursts of energy than should be humanly possible. I was even up in the wee hours of the morning earlier this week with mild contractions that lasted three hours.  My body is getting ready!  

The lack of sleep and this big body have made me utterly exhausted, a little bit (or a lot) ornery, and definitely not the kind of wife, mother, and housekeeper I'd like to be.  I'm just not myself and that's hard on everyone!  But hey, this is my 4th rodeo and I recognize the pattern.  This is all temporary. We'll all be very happy to welcome Baby Boy when he arrives!


*****

Now if you wouldn't mind sending up a quick prayer for a smooth and healthy delivery, I'd really truly appreciate it.  My nerves are beginning to get the best of me.  Send all the good thoughts!

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