1.03.2017

When I Asked


The new worldwide church youth theme for the year comes from James 1:5-6. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."  As the teacher presented the new theme to all the young women at church on Sunday, I became lost in thought and was taken back to exactly this time last year.

I was aching and I was desperate.  Two years, one miscarriage, and countless tears later, we just could not conceive a baby.  I know I sound like a broken record when I mention our struggle, but it was one of the harder challenges I've ever had to navigate through, not knowing why or if I'd ever become pregnant again.  And I wanted another baby so badly!  I had hit my low point, the time when I had absolutely no where else to turn but to God.  No one in the world could possibly provide an answer; not a doctor, not family, not a friend.  Only my Heavenly Father had an answer for me.  It was truly humbling.

And so I fasted and I prayed.  I asked Heavenly Father to bless us with another baby and if it was not His will, I asked Him to bless me with peace; peace to know that raising the two amazing boys I already had was exactly His plan for me and that it was enough.

As I prayed, I felt a distinct impression: 2016 was going to be our year!  We would have a baby!  I also felt that I just needed to hang on a little bit longer, it would happen soon, February or March to be exact.

And so I pressed on with faith and hope.  But oh how easy it is to forget and become discouraged.  By the time March arrived, I'd given up hope that I would ever be pregnant again.  But that's when it did.  That's when I saw two precious lines on a pregnancy test!

Sunday, I looked down at the baby peacefully sleeping in my arms.  Tears filled my eyes because here he was: Conrad, that perfect baby whom fills my heart with so much joy and is more than I could ever dream.  Conrad is a living reminder that my Heavenly Father does answer prayers, that He has gentle lessons to teach me, and that He loves me.

 ^^A little experiment with in-camera double exposures and little Christmas lights.^^

2 comments:

  1. He loves you and I love you too!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "It will all work out" has been my life lesson lately. It's a hard lesson to learn. That is a neat experience you had, and I'm so glad you were blessed with that baby you so desperately wanted!

    ReplyDelete

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