When I Asked
The new worldwide church youth theme for the year comes from James 1:5-6. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." As the teacher presented the new theme to all the young women at church on Sunday, I became lost in thought and was taken back to exactly this time last year.
I was aching and I was desperate. Two years, one miscarriage, and countless tears later, we just could not conceive a baby. I know I sound like a broken record when I mention our struggle, but it was one of the harder challenges I've ever had to navigate through, not knowing why or if I'd ever become pregnant again. And I wanted another baby so badly! I had hit my low point, the time when I had absolutely no where else to turn but to God. No one in the world could possibly provide an answer; not a doctor, not family, not a friend. Only my Heavenly Father had an answer for me. It was truly humbling.
And so I fasted and I prayed. I asked Heavenly Father to bless us with another baby and if it was not His will, I asked Him to bless me with peace; peace to know that raising the two amazing boys I already had was exactly His plan for me and that it was enough.
As I prayed, I felt a distinct impression: 2016 was going to be our year! We would have a baby! I also felt that I just needed to hang on a little bit longer, it would happen soon, February or March to be exact.
And so I pressed on with faith and hope. But oh how easy it is to forget and become discouraged. By the time March arrived, I'd given up hope that I would ever be pregnant again. But that's when it did. That's when I saw two precious lines on a pregnancy test!
Sunday, I looked down at the baby peacefully sleeping in my arms. Tears filled my eyes because here he was: Conrad, that perfect baby whom fills my heart with so much joy and is more than I could ever dream. Conrad is a living reminder that my Heavenly Father does answer prayers, that He has gentle lessons to teach me, and that He loves me.
^^A little experiment with in-camera double exposures and little Christmas lights.^^
He loves you and I love you too!
ReplyDelete"It will all work out" has been my life lesson lately. It's a hard lesson to learn. That is a neat experience you had, and I'm so glad you were blessed with that baby you so desperately wanted!
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