1.30.2017

Motherhood with Three


I feel like I am wading waist deep in motherhood these days.  The newborn honeymoon phase is over and we're hitting our stride: nurse the baby, hold the baby, change his diaper, nurse him again, hold him again.  The cycle never ends.  Toss in two high-strung little boys and I stay busy all day long: cleaning up messes, refereeing arguments, making food, folding laundry, helping with homework, and filling the dishwasher.  That cycle never ends either.  I sometimes worry about how much attention I'm giving Jed over Levi (or vice versa) and if I'm teaching the boys good work habits, how to be kind, and choose the right.  It's hard to find time to fit in a shower, let alone exercise or edit pictures, but I seem to find "me time" in ten minute snippets.  It's not ideal, but it will do for now.  I know it's just a phase.  Motherhood is definitely a lesson in selflessness.  And it's not easy.  Last week, the winter blues started setting in and both Conrad and I caught colds which meant less sleep for us both!  Tired, the monotony of the endless cycle of filling needs left me near tears several times.

And yet, despite the hard moments, I feel like I am in my element.  I feel like I am exactly where I need to be and doing exactly what I was meant to do!  I find so much joy in this job called motherhood.  For instance, Conrad gives the best coos and smiles on his changing table.  The way he looks up at me, milk drunk and happy after nursing, is priceless.  Levi tells the best stories at the dinner table that often leave us in stitches laughing.  And reading the first Harry Potter book to Jed is something both he and I look forward to every afternoon!  Though the house is often littered with toys and I can't find my pillow and there are jolly ranchers smashed into the carpet, there's a deep sense of contentment I feel at the end of the day as I tuck my babies into bed.  It's worth everything.  They are worth everything.


P.S.  Levi chants, "Merry Christmas!  Happy Mother's Day!  Sweet Dreams!" each evening before I shut his door.  I hope he never outgrows saying it and if he does, teaches the phrase to Conrad to carry on for a few more years as Jed taught him.

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