Hooray! Another Baby!

Hooray! Another Baby!

• 2.04.2012

Baby #2 Announcement

So now you know why I've been a little MIA lately: I've been busy growing a tiny baby!  It's unreal how much energy something the size of a pea requires.  It finally hit me this week though, like a ton of bricks, I AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!  We couldn't be more thrilled.  Round two of parenthood coming right up!

The rational part of my brain is asking why in the world I want to do this all over again:  The pregnancy aches and pains, the soreness after labor, breasts that feel like boulders, complete and utter exhaustion for weeks on end, cranky teething baby...  And then I smile because I know it is all completely worth it.  All I have to do is look at Jed and my heart brims over with love and joy.  This brand new tiny human being is going to multiply that love.  I can't wait to meet this baby, to welcome a unique personality into our home, to experience more laughter and more joy and double the sunshine.

I wouldn't trade being a mother for anything.  I feel like I've morphed into an entirely new kind of person since Jed's birth.  I've had to become less selfish, more able to multitask, and a myriad of other things.  But with each passing week, I feel these new traits becoming a more integral part of who I am.  There's room for improvement, but I like what I see.  I feel extremely blessed to have the opportunity to raise children of my own.  This body of mine is miraculous.

*****

Now who wants to hear about the wonderful (not) realities of the first trimester?  Please, read on!  I am ready to complain.

I've been much more sick during this pregnancy than I was with Jed.  Perhaps it's because I had just started an intense brand new job and didn't have time to think about being nauseous with Jed, but a part of me knows that that is not entirely true.  I know that many woman are much worse off than I am, but with that said, there were times during this pregnancy when I looked at Bron and told him I didn't know how many more times I could voluntarily do this.

It all started with a bout of depression.  I was exhausted and moody and honestly didn't want to be a mother anymore.  It was strange.  Thankfully, those feelings didn't last long.  Instead, they turned into typical pregnancy symptoms consisting of miserable nauseousness.  Having the flu for a couple of days is one thing, but feeling tired, puny, and nauseous (coupled with throwing up) for nearly three months straight is completely another.  Add a toddler and you've got a riot brewing.

More than once I found myself leaning over the toilet bowl with one hand holding back my hair and the other holding Jed back.  He wasn't scared, he was curious!  The last thing I wanted was for him to swirl his hand around in the toilet.  Gross.

Which reminds me of my first visit to the doctor's office.  Every pregnant woman knows that she must pee in a cup at every office visit.  This was no exception.  Armed with just a giant popsicle stick for a play toy, I took Jed into the bathroom with me.  Before I could turn around, Jed had dipped his stick into the toilet and licked it!  "Aaaah!" my brain freaked out.  Then I rationalized that this toilet was probably cleaned every day.  It couldn't be that bad, could it?  I determined Jed would survive.  Well, I did as was directed and proceeded to pull my pants back on when Jed dipped his stick into the toilet again... but this time there was pee!  He opened his mouth.  The stick was half way to it.  I yanked it out of his hand and threw it away just in the nick of time.  Whew.  "Next visit," I thought, "I am soo getting a babysitter."

Anyhow, days turned into weeks and weeks became months.  I became a little depressed and even a little frustrated with myself for feeling sick for so long!  "Suck it up," I'd tell myself.  "Get it done."  Well, the dishes and laundry got done and I sat on the floor to play cars with my little boy, but I just didn't feel any motivation to do anything extra.  I didn't make any New Year's resolutions.  I didn't clean or organize or tackle any projects.  I didn't even keep track of what was in the bank account.  I was a minimalist.  And it was killing me.  Poor Bron.  All I could do was keep giving him hugs and tell him how sorry I was.  He, of course, has been a good supportive husband.  Somehow, I think he understands just a little bit.

So I have survived the last few months on naps, soda, cereal, and anything meatless.  Poor Bron ate lots of  pancakes and waffles for dinner.  Now that I am entering the second trimester, however, the nausea is gradually letting up.  My body seems to know when it's noon and six, but with some prompt food, I am doing all right.  I feel more energetic.  I feel happier.  And the reality of this baby is becoming more real.

Like I said, I'm getting excited after all!  I can't wait for this baby to rock our world!!!