Balance

Balance

• 11.15.2013

^^Our littlest stud in his Sunday best^^

Many of my efforts lately have been focused on achieving balance.

I feel like I have made great strides towards balance in my personal life over the last few months.  I feel like my little boys are getting enough attention, the house is clean enough, and most importantly, my main squeeze, Bron, is feeling the love.  On top of all that, I'm also able to spend a few hours each week exercising and dabbling in my favorite hobbies.  It's a Christmas miracle!

I think balance is meant to be one of life's great challenges.  I've accepted that I simply cannot do it all, and give all 100%.  But I do feel that I am enough.  There is always room for improvement, but my marriage is a happy one and I'm in a good place... for now.  (Things just seem to change so fast!) 

Every morning I choose four or five things from my never ending to-do list to accomplish and call it a good day, even if all five things aren't technically checked off by the time I crawl into bed.  For me, it's about keeping a loose routine and prioritizing.  Items number four and five can usually wait until tomorrow if need be. 

And since there will always be work to do, I figure there is always time to play too.  Babies don't keep.  Jed won't always beg, "Play with me, Mom!  .....  Ride da hor(se) with me, Mom!"  I know I'll miss that innocent little voice.  I'm already dreading the day he heads off to first grade, gone from 7AM till 4PM, and feeling like I barely got to see him.

So that's my simple life in a nutshell.  I'm just trying to make the most of every day.

^^Try keeping your balance in these suave cowboy boots!  To someone as short as Levi, the heel must feel at least five inches tall.^^

But now, let's talk about balance in social media for a minute, shall we?

Social media is wonderful.  It's addicting.  And it's downright dumb.  I have a love/hate relationship with social media.  My feelings are bipolar, really.

Does social media ever feel like a popularity contest to you?  Your self worth based on how many "likes" or "comments" you get on a particular post?  Or even how many "followers" you have?  It's utterly ridiculous! 

And even though I know it is utterly ridiculous, I still feel myself getting caught up in the awful clutches of this social media popularity contest.  Yes, I want to be heard and my opinions validated by others, but just exactly who are those other people?  Do I know them personally?  If I do, do we talk on the phone or see each other in person weekly or even monthly?  And why do I feel obligated to "like" or comment on other peoples' profiles so often?

Honestly, it's the real-life flesh and blood relationships that I value most.  Those are the relationships that make me feel the most whole--a valued person--not just another face with some words attached underneath.  (Though I do realize that some real relationships can start with emails!  There are actually a few bloggers out there I'd love to meet face to face one day.)

So I've been taking strides to distance myself from social media a bit.  It's ironic that being so "connected" actually makes me feel isolated sometimes!  Social media is also often a fruitless time hog anyway.  So I've cleaned up the list of blogs I follow.  I took Facebook off my phone and I try not to check my phone every time I pass it in the kitchen.  I've become notorious for leaving my phone behind in the house or the car when I take the boys outside to play or visit a neighbor.  And contrary to what this blog may lead you to believe, I do not pick up my dslr every single day. 

Not every moment needs to be documented.  Not every thought in my head needs to be posted.

Which leads me to some thoughts about this here blog.  I've thought long and hard about why I blog and for whom I write.  I write with my friend, Anna, and other friends from New York in mind.  I write thinking that my dad and mom and other family members will read this.  I write in hopes that other mothers much like me might be able to relate a little bit.  But first and foremost, I write this blog for me.  This blog is a creative outlet for me.  I enjoy writing and I enjoy photography.  A blog is a wonderful combination of the two.  But this blog is also our family journal.  I had a second 350 page volume of this blog printed and I cannot wait to see it.  These memories with the people I love most all documented and bound together means the world to me.  I hope it means something to them too.  And so, as tempting as it might be to cater to a larger audience in order to gain more "followers" (I probably wouldn't be successful anyway), I have made the decision to stay true to the original purpose of this blog.  It's crazy I even doubted myself in the first place!

Balance.  Balance.  Balance.  Too much of one thing, not enough of another.  It's a tough thing and I sometimes struggle with it.  I've fallen off the proverbial horse--and I'll continue to fall off over and over--but you bet I'll get up again every single time.