Fourth Baby Bumpdate: 16 Weeks
^^This baby bump feels so much bigger than it actually is!^^
My goodness. How am I already less than a month away from being halfway through this pregnancy? And less than a month away from the big 20 week ultrasound scan?
A part of me is exhaling. Thank goodness this pregnancy is going so fast. Pregnancy is nooo bueno. I'm still feeling occasionally sick during the day, but I especially feel puny at night: nausea, bloat, gas, and headaches. Yup. I'm still experiencing all the classic morning sickness symptoms. It has GOT TO END SOMEDAY, right? Well, there's a definite end date if it doesn't go away soon; it's called May. So I'm hanging in there. I remind myself that the aches and pains of pregnancy are always worth it. That precious baby is worth it all! But with that said, I never want to do this again.
I explained to Bron, "Pregnancy is like going through puberty super fast. My body and hormones are changing so quickly, I can hardly keep up." Bron replied, "Imagine living with that person!" Bahaha. Touche!
I find it frustrating losing myself to pregnancy. I'm just not quite the same person when I'm pregnant; I lack a lot of energy and enthusiasm. I'm not looking outward towards other people as I usually do. Instead, I am retreating inside my own head. I see the change in myself better this time around than I ever have and I'm noticing the toll it takes on my family. It's not fair to them. But I remind myself daily to give myself some grace. I figure if God wants his spirit children sent here to earth, then He is also there to help fill in the gaps where I am unable. Pregnancy, FAMILY, is all part of the big picture plan, right?
On the other hand, a part of me wants time to slow down just a bit so that I can soak up this pregnancy experience one last time. Pregnancy really is such a unique and short lived time in a woman's life. It's fun to see my little bump in the mirror, proof that there's really a baby growing inside. I'm also gaining anticipation for this new life, this new personality, that is going to join our family.
I'm beginning to look forward to those first precious few hours in the hospital spent cuddling my baby. I'm looking forward to those quiet late night nursing sessions when it's just the two of us. I can't wait to hold and smell that fresh little head on my chest. All those new and first things, one last time. (Gosh! I feel like I'm going to jinx it. This is too good to be true, isn't it?)
I've felt the baby multiple times now. The baby is like a little fish flopping around in there. It's so fun to feel!
I had my second doctor appointment a week ago. The doctor came in with an ultrasound machine the size of a cell phone! Where was that with my other babies?!? It was so rad. He put some goop on my belly and together we saw the baby's beating heart, the head, spine, and arms and legs moving around. We also got a peek between the legs for a quick gender guess, but I'll wait to share that detail until the big ultrasound next month. It was so fun to see the baby; I wasn't expecting that at my appointment. I told the doctor that he had just made my day!
^^Laughing because there's a photo bomber in the background making silly faces.^^
Pregnancy is no picnic, even when it's something you've longed for for so long. Every time I go through the first trimester, I think to myself, How on earth did I get through this last time? Am I crazy for doing this again?! And this last pregnancy, the last couple months were just a day-by-day lesson in basic survival.
ReplyDeleteI love your perspective on it, though---I know just what you mean when you talk about missing feeling like yourself during pregnancy and feeling like pregnancy is sapping your family of their sense of normal too---but I love what you said about how it's important to recognize that this is part of the plan, that Heavenly Father will step up to help everyone adjust. I also think it's good for my kids to see that pregnancy and parenthood require some sacrifice, too--it's a lesson that's good to learn young, especially when it culminates with the blessing of a new family member!
You look absolutely beautiful in these pictures, and I wish you and your family a merry Christmas!