Stories of a Threenager

Stories of a Threenager

• 2.23.2016

Is it a real legitimate thing that children turn into little monsters every time the weather is about to change?  Please tell me it is because I think I'm seeing a trend here.  My boys drove me absolutely crazy last Fall just as the weather began to cool off.  And now that winter is coming to a close and we're eagerly looking forward to spring, well, I'm pulling my hair out.

Or maybe it's not a change in weather thing at all.  Maybe it's just a three year old "threenager" thing, or more specifically, a Levi thing.  Don't be fooled by that curly blonde hair, those squishy round cheeks, and contagious smile.  I've been played more times than I'd like to admit!  It's no secret that both my boys have me wrapped around their tiny pinky fingers, but Levi--ohh boy, watch out!--is he good at pushing those limits to get what he wants.  I'm at the brink of my sanity.

Let me tell you a few short stories to clarify:

1.  We were at the shoe store a couple of weeks ago picking up some new shoes for both Jed and Bron.  I happened to look down and see Levi chewing on something.  "What are you eating?" I asked as I took his chin in my hand.  He opened his mouth to show me something blue.  Gum?  A skittle?  Bron interrupted, "Levi, that's gross.  Spit it out right now," he held out his hand.  That's when Levi looked his dad straight in the eye and visibly swallowed right there on the spot.  The look of fury on Bron's face was serious.  It took all my self-control not to giggle.  Obstinate little turd!

2.  One afternoon Levi came to me with a piece of paper and asked me to make him an airplane.  I gladly obliged and whipped one up.  When he saw what I'd made, he fell to his knees on the floor.  "Noooo!" he sobbed.  "You made the wrong one!  I want the one that doesn't fly good!"

In case you're wondering it was THIS ONE he wanted, not THIS AWESOME ONE that actually flies long and straight.  I'm still scratching my head.

3.  I turned around to shoo some neighbor kids out the door following a fun afternoon of playing at our house when Levi suddenly and deliberately threw a metal can straight at Jed's head!  It wasn't just any metal can either.  It was a giant empty coffee can that Jed had brought home from his Valentine's party at school.  Jed came to me screaming, his face dripping in blood.  I sternly told Levi to go to his room and not come out.  He wound up taking a nap.  Then I calmed Jed down and had him lie on the floor so I could get a better look at the half inch gash on his forehead.  I ultimately decided--with Bron's help (Yay for picture messages!)--upon some neosporin and a butterfly band aid.  Then we topped off the healing process with a movie, the Jungle Book.  Poor kid deserves a little relaxation after all that!  And I'm happy to report Jed is all healed up now.

As a mom of boys I have learned a couple of things so far pertaining to bumps and bruises: First, if the cut is questionable, it probably doesn't need stitches.  Chicks dig scars anyway, right?  Secondly, it's a good idea to keep a stocked first aid kit and some liquid bandage on hand.  That's some incredible stuff.

4.  Boys will be boys.  Mine fight a lot.  Sometimes I give up and ignore them.  Other times, I want to pull my hair out!  It's happened more than once.  I restrain Levi from hitting his big brother, giving both boys a minute to find some space.  But Levi apparently always has to have the last say.  As soon as I let go, Levi charges after Jed and delivers a punch anyway.

5.  The other day while I was talking on the phone, I opened the pantry door to see Levi tip-toeing on the stool eating candy!  Little sneak.  He thought he was getting away with it.  Ha!  He turned on all the smiley charm at that moment.  And I'll admit, it was hard to be mad.

6.  I enjoy making myself chocolate protein smoothies for breakfast.  For some reason, the boys always seem to fight over who gets to press the buttons on the blender.  One morning, Levi was in his room quietly playing when I was in the kitchen.  Jed asked to push the blender buttons for my smoothie.  Of course, I let him.  But then Jed went gloating to his little brother.  Levi charged out of his bedroom SCREAMING!  "Oh, dear.  Is this really my life?" I thought to myself. 

7.  The day I wanted to put Levi out in the kennel with the dog.  That was the day I went to take a shower and came back to find Levi on TOP of the refrigerator chowing down on a giant lollipop I thought was hidden out of sight.  Nope.  The kid is part bloodhound, part monkey, part bottomless pit.  It's a daunting combination.  Keeping the pantry locked gives me about thirty extra seconds to slide my rear into the kitchen as soon as I hear the chair grinding its way across the tile.  Levi is such a messy kid!  He ate at least five granola bars that day too... among a bunch of other frustrating maneuvers and tantrums that I'm choosing to keep to myself.
    

Whew!  Levi is a handful.  Remember, I only pretend to be good at this parenting business.  I actually have no idea what I'm doing at all!  It's not all craziness though.  We have had plenty of good moments this month too--watching movies together or playing card games or riding our bikes outside, to name just a few.

Motherhood is the most bipolar ride I've ever been on.  One moment I'm up and loving the faces off these two cuties and the next moment takes all my self-control not to scream in frustration.  But one happy smile, one sweet hug, or one belly laugh and I'm all in again.  They're totally worth it.  This beautiful family of mine is worth every soul-stretching sacrifice.  These boys make me feel like the luckiest mom in the world.