1.07.2015

Back to Life. Back to Reality.

^^Jed looks awkward here, but I love how he turns to wave to me before climbing onto the bus every day.  It's so sweet!^^

Christmas break is officially over and I have to be honest, the beginning of 2015 has been a rough adjustment!  I have loved having both my little boys home with me all day.  Sending Jed off on the bus in the afternoon is like sending a piece of my heart away.  It hurts a little.  Every time.  I feel like by putting Jed into the early education program, it has stolen more than a year of my time to enjoy the simple pleasures of just having kids at home.  But it's been really good for Jed.  So I know we made the right choice.  That knowledge makes it a little bit easier, though I still eagerly look forward to watching him clamor off the bus with a big grin and a hug, impatient to show me his day's work.  I sure love that kid.

I'm also having a hard time shaking the feeling that my life is spinning out of control.  I haven't felt this much anxiety and stress in a long time.  And I'm not quite sure how to handle it.  I feel like I'm being pulled in ten different directions at once: from family, church, my photography business, violin lessons, my role as a homemaker, and just being a friend.  I feel like the phone is always ringing with requests and I'm a stay-at-home mom so sure, I can fit that in!  

But the reality is, I'm feeling overwhelmed.  There is so much to do and so little time to do it!  (Maybe I just know too many people.  Ha!)

I suppose it's time to take control of the things I can and make a few changes... because let's be honest, much of this is self inflicted.  Perhaps my view of reality is skewed too; I should cut myself some slack and not expect so much from myself!  I'm not superwoman after all.

So cheers to 2015 for rolling in like a freight train.  Here's to a dirtier home and more coloring at the kitchen table with my boys.  Here's to knowing my limits and letting go when I need to.  And here's to a growing photography business that's scaring the pants off me right now.  I hope I can hang on and enjoy the ride!  (If anyone has a new year's resolution word or phrase for all that, I'm all ears!)   

4 comments:

  1. Hey,
    I was just wondering if you could come over and do my laundry. Just kidding! You are amazing and I know you are being blessed because you are awesome. And you can handle it. Nelsons can do hard things.

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  2. Definitely know when to say No! I have had to teach myself that over the years for sure. It is not easy to disappoint people but my theory is keep myself and those in my home most happy and everything else is just an exciting extra Good luck! Happy New Year my friend!

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  3. Oh I'm going to be a wreck when the time finally comes to send Mia to school!!
    Girl, you really are super woman even without your to-do list! I hope you've been able to sit down and make a plan for this year so that you can cut out what you need to to feel successful in all areas in your life... instead of feeling like you have too much going on and are losing on all ends! Wish I could give you a hug right now! Good luck sorting that out!! (and seriously, I really do think you're super woman!)

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  4. Jessie, I feel your pain. We have similar New Year's resolutions too. Being a full-time working mom, I'm now realizing that I really need to schedule my time. There are days that I have to dedicate to work (sadly), but I make sure that I always plan (take days off from work) to spend quality time with my little boy so that he always knows how much he's loved and appreciated. This long weekend, for example, is all about him!! Then, I also have to remember to take a day (or half a day) off at least once per month for me .... maybe to get caught up on watching HGTV or maybe to go for a long hike with a friend. You can't do everything all at once my friend. Don't ever let mommy guilt set in because quite honestly, you are the best mom I know. And don't feel bad when you can't do something for someone...you are now a working mom with a rising business! That's not a bad thing at all because your boys will have the opportunity to watch their mom work while doing something that she absolutely loves and is talented at... I'm sure you will want the same thing for your boys someday...so you are already being a role model! (Oh and the house being dirty...No one seems to mind except me, so I need to get over it; otherwise, I'll have memories of cleaning and not snuggling up with my little boy on his day off.) Hugs and prayers to you! 2015 will be awesome!

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