A Whole Handful: Five Years Old

Dear Jed,

You are turning five years old today!  I remember thinking shortly after you were born about the year 2015--about how I'd be turning thirty and you would be turning five.  And holy moly, here it is already!  Where does the time go?

The other night you had your dad and I reminiscing about the day you were born and telling you stories all about when you were a baby.  You just laughed and giggled.  In the thick of it, I thought those sticky toddler days would last forever.  And now I suddenly realize that those days have slipped through my fingers like sand.  I wish I could stay the hands of time.  You see, your fingers aren't so sticky anymore (you wash your hands all by yourself!) and the messes I clean up are fewer and further between (you can clean your room by yourself!).  You're growing up right before my eyes, Jed, becoming smarter and more independent by the minute.  And while that fact makes me a bit nostalgic and misty-eyed, I'm also very proud of the little boy you've become.

Jed, one of my favorite characteristics about you is how sweet and sensitive you are.  You are concerned about the feelings of those around you, often asking me if I'm sad or mad or happy.  You give the best hugs and pray for the sweetest things--like asking Heavenly Father to surprise Mommy with a new baby someday.  Oh, it makes my heart ache and swell simultaneously!  You cried when I told you that the baby inside my tummy died.  Big crocodile tears.  I scooped you into my lap and we talked about it together, ultimately deciding that there was still hope and that everything would be all right.  Jed, you have a big big heart with lots of big big feelings.  I pray you see that as a strength and not a weakness as you grow older because the world needs more men with caring hearts.  (Just like your dad.)

Happiness seems to seep from your pores. Jed, you make me laugh every day.  You are so silly and clever!  Oh boy, do you have a sense of humor.  You and Levi get to laughing so hard I think you might fall out of your chairs!  Lately, you've been going on and on about 'knock knock' jokes, making up your own on the fly.  "Chicken who?"  "Chicken broccoli!"  Hahahaha!  And "Shoe who?" "Shoe in the box!"  I don't get it, but I can't get enough of your smile.  You are my sunshine.  

I am so proud of you, Jed.  You are adventurous and brave.  Cautious by nature, you are willing to try to do things that you are scared to do.  For instance, last week as we were on a hike with some older friends, the boys began jumping from rock to rock over a small crevice.  You were nervous, but you wanted to jump it too--all by yourself.  And you did it!  Just last Thursday we surprised you by letting you pick out a brand new bike.  Not even five minutes at the park, you were thrilled that you could actually ride your bike on the grass before you went careening head first into a ditch with a foot of water.  You did your first endo!  I thought that would be the end of our time at the park, but you insisted on climbing back on your bike.  Excited and determined, you weren't going to let a little ol' crash get the best of you!  I hope you hang on to that tenacity because it will gain you many successes throughout your life.

One little letter cannot possibly sum up you, your personality, or your many strengths.   Honestly, words come up short in trying to describe how proud I am of you or how deeply I love you, Jed.  Instead, I hope you feel it.  I hope you intuitively know how unique and capable and special you are.  I hope your heart knows you are loved unconditionally. 

Happy 5th Birthday, Jed!  May all your little childhood wishes come true!


 5 Months Old: Cool Dude Jed


  1. What a sweet letter. Happy birthday to Jed!

  2. Happy Birthday Jed!! You are one handsome devil!

    (girl I had no idea you had had a miscarriage, I'm so incredibly sorry and I love you and your sweet spirit. Your determination to be there for your boys is inspiring and I truly wish and hope you are blessed with another special soul to nuture very soon!)

  3. Jed, you sure are one sweet little boy. May year five bring you lots and lots of blessings. What a perfect age!


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